My ‘dread dragon’  head is back just in time for craptastic chemo cycle number five, with today’s dose of Taxotere at tax time. Two of my most favourite things! (Not!)

Please excuse me while I go and wait for the week ahead of the men with spears jabbing my tired bones or the tender and painful fingernails that can’t push medication out of foil packaging or undo seatbelts.

Most of all I just love my Taxotere filled, weeping, blurry eyes. When I look in the mirror I can’t see my wrinkles with these. It’s like some sort of imaginary and free Botox treatment.

And I just can’t wait to drag my tongue over the hot molten ash of Hawaii again for that mouth ulcer party! Just love a good lava licking session!

Oh and how could I almost forget how my intestines seem to go on vacation for the week. Anyone got a number for a good plumber?

I’ve come such a long way from referring to my chemo infusion days as a health spa haven’t I? Fortunately, there is only one more to go after this.

But it is true. Chemotherapy can officially kiss my grits!