I have been meaning to write this post for nearly two months but have been sinking deeper and deeper into my chemo induced psychosis, which rather unfortunately happens to feed my sarcastic, bitter and twisted nature quite nicely, so here goes it.
I haven’t received an award in many, many years. I missed out on getting “Young Australian of the Year” because I was too busy working for a Japanese whaling fleet in the Southern Ocean. Turns out Australians don’t like whaling. Who knew!
There was “The Congratulations You Just Missed Out on Dux of Year Eight Non-Award.” I’m thinking I might have to raise this with the psychologist at this week’s visit as I have actually mentioned this event in a blog already when I wrote Report Cards and Tollways way back in February. So much to talk about!
Then there are the countless competitions. One of particular angst is the second place I was awarded in a baby competition back in the 70’s. Second for f$&k sake! Of course, this would never have shaped my psyche if my oldest brother had not kept bringing it up over the years!
Oh, I did win something, well sort of, but not really.
There was the humiliation I endured when I won the school Easter raffle back in 1989 and was called up in front of a 1500 strong student body to have the Principal of my school say “It is with great pleasure I announce my good friend Lisa has won the raffle. So come up and collect your prize.” My good friend? WTF was that about? My coolness rating plummeted into negative territory.
Incredibly, the prize was an enormous basket filled with 10kgs of chocolate. Hallelujah! Finally I had won something! There was only the small detail that I had not purchased a ticket. So I convinced myself that somehow my awesomely generous, pubescent friends might have purchased one for me. I stood up and stepped over what felt like thousands of legs in the crowd and with flushed cheeks collected the basket which I could hardly hold up. I was presented with the winning ticket under 3000 watchful green eyed peers, shaking hands with my supposed good friend the Principal Mr Charlesworth.
Post assembly, I paid a visit to my mate “Charlie” to fess up that the name on the back of the raffle ticket although technically mine, wasn’t in fact me. There was just the small issue of a different phone number scribbled on the back of the ticket that I had to tell him about. So close, and yet so far from confection glory that I felt like crying me a brown chocolate river. How bizarre was it that someone in my town had both my first name and surname? Upon further investigation, it was someone’s auntie who was to be the rightful recipient of a basket full of type two diabetes.
All was not lost. My honesty earned me a reprieve from hell and a 150 gram Humpty Dumpty Cadbury Easter egg from Charlie and a round of applause from inside the teachers staffroom at morning tea. This Humpty Dumpty chocolate reward for honesty, incidentally weighed more than my removed Shittytittie cancer filled breast that inspired the creation of this blog. Will never look at Humpty Dumpty Easter Eggs in the same light again.
So as we roll forward 24 years, here I have received a very unexpected award.
THE VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD
I very gratefully and humbly accept without even an whiff of sarcasm from troutledge who follows my blog and writes her own titled
I’M GETTING MY BOOBS CHOPPED OFF
Her blog catch phrase is “One girl, two boobs, a genetic mutation and a big decision” Tricia is a very brave women who as a BRCA gene carrier chose to have a preventative double mastectomy to reduce her chances of breast cancer by 90% long before Angelina Jolie hit the news. Her foray into blogging began at around the same time as mine. But her experience with this insidious breast cancer disease unfortunately entered her life much, much earlier. When in her words…
My mum contracted breast cancer at 43. I was 17. Mine and my family’s world was rocked. My mum on the other hand had an eerie inevitability and acceptance about the diagnosis. As though she always knew this day would come. Her own mum died at the rip old age of 53, and there were a couple of Aunty’s in this genetic cancer pot also. 3 years later, with a 2 year respite in between, she was dead. Ravaged by a cancer so aggressive it ran through her body like wildfire.
So thank you troutledge. I really am chuffed and I gratefully accept the award, albeit I’m a little delayed in my gratitude. Chemo has a way of shrinking gratitude as well as healthy and cancerous cells. They left that out of the chemotherapy brochure. You can read about her journey at http://imgettingmyboobsoff.wordpress.com
This is what she wrote about my award nomination….
Lisey writes about her journey with breast cancer at 37 on https://shittytittiebangbang.com/. Her humour and courage is incredibly inspiring and I love her Shittietitttie Chemo Cuts Reveal Challenge. The challenge inspires people to make positive changes in their life and share their commitment with others. Every time ten people share their commitment, she gets a new haircut. And despite sporting new locks that would challenge the best of us, she always looks sensational. https://shittytittiebangbang.com/2013/04/08/the-shittietittie-chemo-cuts-reveal-challenge/.
One of the conditions in accepting this award is to tell people 7 things about myself.
- I am 38 and live in Australia with my Mr Cool and two gorgeous little boys who are 5 and 2.
- I studied Japanese language at university 20 years ago. One of the many
usefulphrases I retained … include “go to the second set of traffic lights and turn right.” I kid you not!
- I came very close to being a victim of the Frankston Murders serial killer in 1993, when I ran in a remote bushland reserve on my own at the same time the killer was stalking out a young woman to be his next victim. I remember his car in the parking lot.
- I applied for a reality TV show called “The Colony” about 10 years ago. In it people went and lived in the Australian bush for several months in authentic dress, eating a colonial diet that they hunted and grew themselves, building huts to live in, and beginning a working farm, essentially recreating the past. I was secretly heartbroken when I didn’t get an audition for it.
- I nearly drowned in the Murrumbidgee River when I was on a holiday with one of my primary school friends at about the age of 10. We were swimming downstream of a weir and the floodgates opened. I was rescued by a man and as a result I always feared swimming in rivers and the ocean which made a career in Outdoor Education challenging at times.
- We live with two whippets, one of which is more successful at forecasting storms than the Bureau of Meteorology.
- No place makes me happier than the Australian Alps in winter. Especially climbing out of a snow cave on a sunny morning with fresh snow. Unfortunately, my husband prefers budgie smugglers and hot beaches.
The other condition is that I have to nominate other bloggers and tell them about it.
So my nomination goes to MAGSBLOG. Magalie has created a wonderful cartoon that depicts each stage of her breast cancer journey. It is so worth following by going to MAGSBLOG. Magsblog was the first EVER blog I came across post diagnosis when I searched Google, long, long before I even set up my own. I composed myself and said… so I have breast cancer. What is this breast cancer lark about anyway? Better see what Dr Google has to say and luckily MAGSBLOG was there with her almost cheerfully colourful depictions of something that was just so God Damn awful! Her cartoons helped me navigate through the crazy maze that is the beginning stage of a breast cancer diagnosis.
Originally from France and now living in Sydney and caring for a young child in her thirties, Magalie’s story has really resonated with mine. Her cartoons are beautifully illustrated and I just love how she has chosen to document this journey. So to her, I pass on the VERY INSPIRING BLOGGER AWARD! So head on over and make sure you follow her excellent blog at www.MAGSBLOG.com
Congratulations, and so well deserved. Your blog was one of the first blogs that I came across on wordpress – it caught my attention and your humour and tell-it-like-it-is tone really resonated with me. My kids love the title of your blog…I wish I’d had the nouse to come up with something so apt and catchy! Best wishes as you navigate the chemo haze and come out the other side.
I love both you and Magsblog. Congratulations! I send you 10 kg of virtual chocolate!
Wow Lisey thanks so much!! Heaps of love from Switzerland xxxx
Congratulations lisa. Very well deserved. You write beautifully. I loved this blog I found out so much more about you. Sorry you’ve been feeling shitty xxxxx
Congrats Lisa, your humor and bravery is a treasure for me, as was “The
Colony” 10 years ago, I loved that series, wishing you joy, peace and hair regrowth…. Barb Metelmann xx
Well done Lis. You are a terrific blogger and you have shared a very private part of your life with so many of us in a fluent, coherent and entertaining way. You have taken a very complex topic and made it accessible for all of us to understand. Breadth, depth and personal insights have been warmly accepted! (You can tell I work in schools hey?). Keep blogging…..
Congratulations on your award. You are one inspirational lady on a journey full of roller coasters. What a wonderful spirit you possess, as you share your thoughts and experiences. I have no doubt you will be helping many other women along the same journey. The Japanese phrase may come in handy one day!! Lol!! xxx