Today is the day I get my GoPro on. Think of this pleasant scenario… camera mounted at the end of a selfie stick capturing some youthful, sun-drenched, white teethed, twenty somethings while they satisfy their hedonist little hearts doing some ultimate outdoor experience.

Sure, I’m not a twenty something and my teeth are not white.  But today, I would still love to be doing a spot of GoPro’ing in Norway…

Picture: Tomasz Furmanek/Mercury Press
Picture: Tomasz Furmanek/Mercury Press

Or a GoPro sesh while launching myself off this cliff here..

This isn’t me, I don’t have this much hair.

Unfortunately I won’t be filmed jumping around with reckless abandon today.  For today is the day my pelvis gets an inspection with a one of the earliest versions of a GoPro stick, aka laparoscopic procedure.

After 14 months of pelvic symptoms, five dildo cams, (the GoPro Vag version) and countless consults with my oncologist, an oncological gyne and a gyne/obstetrician, in a few moments the experts are going IN to diagnose what is going on inside my mutant pelvis.

It is hoped this will explain why I have been miserable with pain since I ingested 623 Tamoxifen tablets between ending my active treatment and today.  This GoPro procedure might result in coming out of surgery with an ovary or two less, amongst other things.

Anyone who thinks that the fortunate cancer patients who get to remission should be walking around peachy creamy all the time is naive.  Most of us are the walking wounded. Some are better at hiding it than me,  hiding the burden that living each day with the fear of recurrence or metastasis brings. Grappling with very real post treatment side effects.  For the legacy of cancer manifests in quite a deteriorating quality of life, even when you are deemed ‘healthy’.  This is particularly common for younger women who are treated for breast cancer.  It is hard, the comparison of the old life with the new. And sadly, we are expected to be grateful for the second chance we have been given.  But it ain’t that easy.

I’m so blasé towards this surgery that I’ve come to the big smoke on my own. In part to shield my partner and kids from another surgery. When you’ve had multiple major surgeries to remove cancer and body parts, every other non cancer related surgery seems like a walk in the park.

So at this moment,  I’m just waiting for my bowel prep and my visit with the anesthetist so we can get this expertly conducted GoPrOvary procedure started.  I hope they get some good diagnostic footage. It could make some excellent YouTube viewing.

The GoPrOvary Building
The GoPrOvary Building