I’ve been waiting for months to revisit my breast surgeon, since our string of regular surgical dates and reviews was completed and she sent me on my way to heal. I grieved a little for the finality of the first part of treatment farewelling so many characters which had been such a feature of my life in the early days of diagnosis; the breast care nurses, the plastic surgeon, and their side kicks. The familiar surrounds of the hospital. As I returned to continue the treatment plan at my local hospital.
Today is breast review day back in the big smoke. She will inspect her handy work, the scalpel cuts that are four months along, the Asian sized tissue expander as well as the armpit with no lymph nodes. There is the small matter of radiotherapy to discuss before plans for the second mastectomy and sentinel node biopsy can proceed. All of this dialogue might occur in a fifteen minute meeting which I am happy to make a four hour round trip for.
I have not forgotten the scent of her perfume. Or the excitement and anticipation I felt when I saw her clothes and shoes each time we met. Time has moved through two seasons since our beginning. Today I’m expecting some wintery attire. Stilettos would be unlikely. Perhaps long leather boots?
I am a little excited for this date. Despite feeling unwell, I have put some makeup on my bloated steroid infused face and chosen one of my favorite headscarves. But it is a very different woman that will meet the surgeon today. I wonder if she will remember who I was? Maybe she could remind me.
I hope you had a good appointment, Lisey. And the more important question is if you remember who you are and based on your posts over the months I would say you have a firm grip on your identity and are successfully integrating your cancer experience into it. I can see your sparkly lipstick in the photo. Love it!
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What a haunting photo. What a thought provoking post. What a fantastic writer.
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If you go to the same cafe we went to, think of me thinking of you and smile. Hope it goes well, and your physical well being is in as good shape as your mental state of mind.
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Love it. Yes. No idea who the hell I am any more. Look in the mirror, and this one-titted cross between ET and Gollum stares back. Look at what I’ve managed to do this week, and can’t remember anytime when it ever took so much effort to do so little. With you on this one too.
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Beautifully expressed.. Such emotion… I hope your meeting went well
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Hope it went well. Take care, we are all thinking of you back here – Purple day here last week…xx
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